Happy Friday!
I'll start by saying thanks again to everyone for supporting us in this, and for being there for me in the "aftermath" of receiving the news that PS #1 is not going to work out. ("Aftermath" sounds so dramatic, but I'm too lazy to look up other options on thesaurus.com like I usually do. :-) I'm doing okay. No emotional outbursts or tears yet, isn't that great (insert sarcasm)?! I'm really skilled at not FEELING my feelings and just trucking forward with life as if everything is just fine and dandy. It's not a talent I'm necessarily proud of. Sure, it might appear to make me more resilient and adaptable. (And I do pride myself on not being a drama queen or falling apart over every little challenge.) But, I know it's a detriment to both my emotional and physical health. I fully realize that I'm allowed to feel what I feel, and to cry sometimes, and bla bla bla. And I want to! Believe me - it'll come, and it will more than likely be after a few glasses of wine. So, whoever's having wine night with me next, look out - you've been warned. :-) Stacy - if you're reading this - I'm working on not being such a control freak, I promise!! (Yes, I shared my blog with my counselor - that has to count for something, right?! Love you Stacy!)
Anyway - I've been taking the last couple days to let things sink in. I think PS#1 needed that too. She really feels that she was meant to do this for us, and feels that it's part of her life's path (her words!), so it's been hard for both of us to absorb the news that she can't (or, more accurately, shouldn't). I too wish things could be different. I'm absolutely touched that she feels so strongly about helping us. She tells us our baby will be lucky to have us as parents, but I feel like the lucky one to have people like her in our life! It's hard to give up on them and try to move on, but I'm not sure we have any other choice. Dr. Campbell won't risk it, and I don't want to find another doctor for another opinion because we'd have to start from scratch. Especially when we still have PS#2..........
Many of you have been asking me about PS#2, and if she's still an option. The short answer is yes. Chris and I will be seeing her and her husband this weekend, so we're planning to discuss it more then. We'll see where those discussions take us!
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