Happy Holidays! Merry Christmas! I hope you all had a wonderful holiday and got to spend time with those you love. Chris and I spent Christmas Eve/Day with the Korf/Piha's, and we're heading down to celebrate with the Reese's tomorrow. At this time of year I always wish the two families lived closer together. But, the bright side is that we can extend the fun over 2 weekends! (And, I get to hit up the great after-Christmas sales for my side of the fam's gifts!)
Just a few updates. We left off with my clinic calling to tell me they would re-examine PS #1's ultrasounds, since her doctors feel that she'd be a viable carrier. Yesterday (finally!) I received word that after looking at the ultrasound pictures, they're still not sure. ARGH! They've requested that she come in for a saline-infused sonogram (SIS), so Dr. Campbell can examine her uterus himself (at no charge to either of us, bonus!) Being the amazing person she is, PS#1 already has it scheduled for January 8th, and I will be joining her for the appointment. It's a relief to know that we'll actually have an answer that day, as he'll be able to tell immediately whether or not he "approves" - no waiting for results (another bonus). AH! The next week and a half are bound to be full of both fear and hope - not unlike the last year I guess!
You might be thinking "jeez LA-weez, what a hassle!" Yeah, me too, at least initially. But in the end, both sides just want to do right by all involved, and it's humbling to see both sides advocating for us. I understand why my clinic wants to do ALL due diligence in approving the carrier. It would be devastating to get even further along in the process only to learn the carrier can't actually carry, ya know? And on the other side, I love that PS #1 and her doctors are fighting for us and don't want us pass up what could be an ideal match. I've said it once (or 100 times) and I'll say it again - what an adventure!
About PS#1 - it's absolutely amazing just how on board she is with all this. Seriously, she doesn't even bat an eye about anything that's been asked of her so far. I told her I felt bad about her having to get an SIS (it's the same thing I had several months ago and, well, it sucked!) Her response was the usual - that she'll do whatever it takes and if this is what it takes, so be it! And when I warned her that she will be gushing saline the rest of the day and to get ready for pads as big as diapers, she replied: "diapers will just be an added bonus in prepping me for my older years!" Ah, I'm so glad I'm taking this ride with someone who has such a great sense of humor. Seriously, she's an angel. Love her!!!!
Please pray, keep your fingers crossed, send good vibes....whatever it is you do....for good news on January 8th!!
Friday, December 28, 2012
Monday, December 17, 2012
Roller Coaster? Waiting Game? Both!!!
Hello all! Several of you have been asking me for updates. I wanted to wait until I had something worthwhile to tell you, and what I've found is that so much of this process is just waiting. And more waiting. And getting my hopes up, just to wait some more. I'm trying to be patient with everything, but I'm an Aries, and patience is NOT my strong suit. I do the best I can!
BTW, I want to interject here and say that I'm sorry my blog has no pictures and is therefore really boring-looking. I haven't figured out how to add any yet and, well, it's not a priority right now. :-) Maybe if I ever get published, I'll make it more snazzy, ha!
OK, so where did we leave off? Oh yes, we were waiting (of course!) for the ultrasound results for Potential Surrogate #1. Drum roll please......she was approved! Her doctors felt everything looked good, gave their blessing and signed off on her being our carrier! Yay! We were so excited to take the next step, which was to have her doctors send everything over to mine, so they could sign off as well. That should only take a couple days, right? Um, yeah, if doctors didn't take vacations or receptionists didn't forget to have PS #1 sign all the appropriate paperwork (grrr). What was supposed to take a few days turned into about two weeks, until I FINALLY heard back from my doctor's office this morning, only to be told...........(drumroll again)......
They won't approve her. :-( In a nutshell, they didn't agree with her doctors that she was a good candidate for medical reasons I knew about but admittedly, didn't fully understand. (I would go into more detail, but in an effort to protect her I will refrain from sharing her personal medical information. I'm an open book when it comes to myself, but this is different.)
I've been trying really hard to take one day at a time and not get my hopes up, but I have to admit I had not prepared myself to hear this. I was so confident that this was all meant to be. Everything seemed to be falling into place. But more concerning to me was PS #1, and her reaction to getting this "rejection". My first question was whether or not they had told her yet, and if not, when? I didn't want her to feel bad in any way, or feel that she had something "wrong" with her. I have absolutely no hard feelings, and just look at this as "not meant to be". I'd be lying if I said I wasn't emotional, or frustrated, or sad, but NONE of those emotions are directed towards her. Are you kidding? I'm so grateful that she even went this far with us - what a blessing! I'm just so thankful to her and her husband for considering all of this!!! I think my frustration just comes from life not being fair, but then I tell myself to get off my pity-potty.
Fast forward to this afternoon. I come back from non-stop meetings to a voicemail from my doctors office, saying that they don't want to get my hopes up, but they talked further with PS #1 and are trying to get more information from her doctors, because her doctors feel strongly that she's a good candidate and that they don't have the full picture. WHAT?! Ahh! Back on the roller coaster we go. So, now, we get to wait. :-) Hopefully, not for long. Dawn (the GS coordinator) expects to get the full records by Wednesday, and she will be calling me then. I have to say I admire PS #1's persistence, and even Dawn acknowledges how amazing it is that she wants to do this for us so much. Again, we are so blessed.
Meanwhile, I had already contacted PS #2 to see if they were still willing to give it a go, and their answer was YES. So, there are still options! Yet again, blessed!!! Stay tuned!
I tell ya. For a control freak like me, this whole process is really a challenge. But who am I to complain? There are so many worse things that could be happening - it feels selfish to even feel sad sometimes. Take what happened last week in CT, for instance. My heart hurts for all those who lost loved ones - I can't even wrap my head around it. It just puts things in perspective, ya know?
Love you all and I hope you're having a happy and safe holiday season!!
BTW, I want to interject here and say that I'm sorry my blog has no pictures and is therefore really boring-looking. I haven't figured out how to add any yet and, well, it's not a priority right now. :-) Maybe if I ever get published, I'll make it more snazzy, ha!
OK, so where did we leave off? Oh yes, we were waiting (of course!) for the ultrasound results for Potential Surrogate #1. Drum roll please......she was approved! Her doctors felt everything looked good, gave their blessing and signed off on her being our carrier! Yay! We were so excited to take the next step, which was to have her doctors send everything over to mine, so they could sign off as well. That should only take a couple days, right? Um, yeah, if doctors didn't take vacations or receptionists didn't forget to have PS #1 sign all the appropriate paperwork (grrr). What was supposed to take a few days turned into about two weeks, until I FINALLY heard back from my doctor's office this morning, only to be told...........(drumroll again)......
They won't approve her. :-( In a nutshell, they didn't agree with her doctors that she was a good candidate for medical reasons I knew about but admittedly, didn't fully understand. (I would go into more detail, but in an effort to protect her I will refrain from sharing her personal medical information. I'm an open book when it comes to myself, but this is different.)
I've been trying really hard to take one day at a time and not get my hopes up, but I have to admit I had not prepared myself to hear this. I was so confident that this was all meant to be. Everything seemed to be falling into place. But more concerning to me was PS #1, and her reaction to getting this "rejection". My first question was whether or not they had told her yet, and if not, when? I didn't want her to feel bad in any way, or feel that she had something "wrong" with her. I have absolutely no hard feelings, and just look at this as "not meant to be". I'd be lying if I said I wasn't emotional, or frustrated, or sad, but NONE of those emotions are directed towards her. Are you kidding? I'm so grateful that she even went this far with us - what a blessing! I'm just so thankful to her and her husband for considering all of this!!! I think my frustration just comes from life not being fair, but then I tell myself to get off my pity-potty.
Fast forward to this afternoon. I come back from non-stop meetings to a voicemail from my doctors office, saying that they don't want to get my hopes up, but they talked further with PS #1 and are trying to get more information from her doctors, because her doctors feel strongly that she's a good candidate and that they don't have the full picture. WHAT?! Ahh! Back on the roller coaster we go. So, now, we get to wait. :-) Hopefully, not for long. Dawn (the GS coordinator) expects to get the full records by Wednesday, and she will be calling me then. I have to say I admire PS #1's persistence, and even Dawn acknowledges how amazing it is that she wants to do this for us so much. Again, we are so blessed.
Meanwhile, I had already contacted PS #2 to see if they were still willing to give it a go, and their answer was YES. So, there are still options! Yet again, blessed!!! Stay tuned!
I tell ya. For a control freak like me, this whole process is really a challenge. But who am I to complain? There are so many worse things that could be happening - it feels selfish to even feel sad sometimes. Take what happened last week in CT, for instance. My heart hurts for all those who lost loved ones - I can't even wrap my head around it. It just puts things in perspective, ya know?
Love you all and I hope you're having a happy and safe holiday season!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)