Hello all! Several of you have been asking me for updates. I wanted to wait until I had something worthwhile to tell you, and what I've found is that so much of this process is just waiting. And more waiting. And getting my hopes up, just to wait some more. I'm trying to be patient with everything, but I'm an Aries, and patience is NOT my strong suit. I do the best I can!
BTW, I want to interject here and say that I'm sorry my blog has no pictures and is therefore really boring-looking. I haven't figured out how to add any yet and, well, it's not a priority right now. :-) Maybe if I ever get published, I'll make it more snazzy, ha!
OK, so where did we leave off? Oh yes, we were waiting (of course!) for the ultrasound results for Potential Surrogate #1. Drum roll please......she was approved! Her doctors felt everything looked good, gave their blessing and signed off on her being our carrier! Yay! We were so excited to take the next step, which was to have her doctors send everything over to mine, so they could sign off as well. That should only take a couple days, right? Um, yeah, if doctors didn't take vacations or receptionists didn't forget to have PS #1 sign all the appropriate paperwork (grrr). What was supposed to take a few days turned into about two weeks, until I FINALLY heard back from my doctor's office this morning, only to be told...........(drumroll again)......
They won't approve her. :-( In a nutshell, they didn't agree with her doctors that she was a good candidate for medical reasons I knew about but admittedly, didn't fully understand. (I would go into more detail, but in an effort to protect her I will refrain from sharing her personal medical information. I'm an open book when it comes to myself, but this is different.)
I've been trying really hard to take one day at a time and not get my hopes up, but I have to admit I had not prepared myself to hear this. I was so confident that this was all meant to be. Everything seemed to be falling into place. But more concerning to me was PS #1, and her reaction to getting this "rejection". My first question was whether or not they had told her yet, and if not, when? I didn't want her to feel bad in any way, or feel that she had something "wrong" with her. I have absolutely no hard feelings, and just look at this as "not meant to be". I'd be lying if I said I wasn't emotional, or frustrated, or sad, but NONE of those emotions are directed towards her. Are you kidding? I'm so grateful that she even went this far with us - what a blessing! I'm just so thankful to her and her husband for considering all of this!!! I think my frustration just comes from life not being fair, but then I tell myself to get off my pity-potty.
Fast forward to this afternoon. I come back from non-stop meetings to a voicemail from my doctors office, saying that they don't want to get my hopes up, but they talked further with PS #1 and are trying to get more information from her doctors, because her doctors feel strongly that she's a good candidate and that they don't have the full picture. WHAT?! Ahh! Back on the roller coaster we go. So, now, we get to wait. :-) Hopefully, not for long. Dawn (the GS coordinator) expects to get the full records by Wednesday, and she will be calling me then. I have to say I admire PS #1's persistence, and even Dawn acknowledges how amazing it is that she wants to do this for us so much. Again, we are so blessed.
Meanwhile, I had already contacted PS #2 to see if they were still willing to give it a go, and their answer was YES. So, there are still options! Yet again, blessed!!! Stay tuned!
I tell ya. For a control freak like me, this whole process is really a challenge. But who am I to complain? There are so many worse things that could be happening - it feels selfish to even feel sad sometimes. Take what happened last week in CT, for instance. My heart hurts for all those who lost loved ones - I can't even wrap my head around it. It just puts things in perspective, ya know?
Love you all and I hope you're having a happy and safe holiday season!!
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